Getting Off The Treadmill, Part III – Sacrifice
So you have a vision.
You have your mind set on a career that you can be proud of; one that will bring you enough money to shine a little light on your community. On top of that, you have begun the process of setting your life up in a way that helps you get to that career. Good.
And you have humility.
You have recognized that you don’t know it all and that you will need some help to get to where you want to be. You have also decided to live the rest of your life in a constant state of learning.
Congratulations. You finished the hard part… Now it’s time for the painful part – sacrifice.
This is where most people quit. This is where people decide they are fine with settling for something less ambitious than their vision because success requires sacrifice, and unfortunately, sacrifice hurts.
Bill Gates is the gold standard for success. He fluctuates between being one of the top five richest people in the world every year. But his success came at a great cost. When other kids were going out to the movies and playing sports, Bill was writing computer code. In fact, legend has it that Bill logged 10,000 hours of computer coding before most Americans had ever seen a computer. Think about that: there is only 24 hours in a day. Then, later in life, while his peers were partying in college, Bill dropped out to work full time on his small business. That business became Microsoft.
Bill’s story is similar to that of all successful people – they all have to sacrifice some enjoyment, some luxuries, some friends and lots and lots of time, to do what it takes to get to their goals. So I am going to ask you to do the same thing.
You will need some sacrificing in the company you keep; the things you spend your money on; and your time.
See why sacrifice hurts yet?
Let’s just cover the company you keep, today. That will be painful enough.
The company you keep affects you more than you would like to admit. They are a direct reflection of you – that’s why you keep them around. They are also a pretty good indicator of whether or not you will actually reach your goals.
Let me explain why:
The guy who led me to the Lord had a saying: if you stay in a barber shop long enough, somebody’s gonna cut your head. That’s what is happening there. Heads are getting cut.
If you hang out with people with no vision and no motivation, before you know it, you won’t have any either. You can lose whole days kickin’ it with people, laughing and having a good time, and accomplishing nothing at all.
It took a while for me to realize that some people are comfortable having nothing. Think about it. How many people do you know who wake up everyday and do absolutely nothing to advance their situations? Some people are good with just enough. And if you stay around them long enough, I promise you, you will be too. Mediocre is contagious.
So how do you figure out which relationships you need to sacrifice?
Some of them, you already know. You know that friend who your mom instinctively never liked? Yeah, stop hanging out with him or her for a bit.
But for the rest, try this:
Make a list of everyone you have hung out with in the last month.
Next to each person’s name, write down their goal, if you know it. If you don’t know it, it probably doesn’t exist.
Cross out every person on the list that does not have a goal. Those are relationships that will not be helpful right now.
Next, remove every person from your list who didn’t do anything to get closer to their goals over the last month. Don’t ask them. If you are not aware of the moves they are making, chances are they aren’t making any.
Finally, reach out to each person left on your list. Tell them about your vision. If they mock you or discourage you, remove them from the list.
The only people left on your list should be those who have a goal, did something in the last month to reach that goal, and encouraged your vision. These are the relationships that I want you to cultivate for the next few months. These people are motivated and motivation, like mediocrity, is contagious.
Beware: when you sacrifice these relationships, some people will have bad things to say. They will doubt your ability to achieve your goals. They will laugh at your vision. They will say you are turning your back on the hood. But when they see you actually sticking to it and reaching some of your goals on the way to your vision, they will be inspired. You might notice them starting to make goals. They may reach out to you for advice. You may even find that for some of them, you are the only person they know that is bettering themselves in a way that does not concern crime or entertainment.
We have only scratched the surface of sacrifice. Next time, we turn to sacrificing money. Warning: you won’t like this – your families won’t like this either.
Until then, keep knocking off those goals on your way to that dream career. Keep your head down and keep praying.
Now, let’s break bread and eat.
Written by Ivory L. Bishop, Jr. Esq.