Getting Off The Treadmill, Part II – Humility

All truly successful people are humble.  They know enough to know they don’t know it all.  They are smart enough to learn from others.  It is this humility that allows them to continue learning, even in their success.  If you are even bothering to read this post, you are obviously humble enough to know that you too can learn from others.  But let’s dig a bit deeper than that.

Let’s start with this premise:

If you are working 40 or more hours per week and still seem to be running in place, something needs to change.

But you will never make the necessary changes if you are not humble enough to admit that you need to change in the first place, right?

Self-analysis is the first step in humility.  It’s about giving an honest look at where you are and comparing it to where you want to be.  This isn’t a question of blame or even an assessment of the causes for being where you are.  I just want you to take stock of where you are now.  Write down how much money you have coming in versus going out, how satisfied you are with your standard of living, how content you are with your current employment (or lack of employment).

Once you have a clear, written picture of where you are, the next step is learning how to change.  Think about it, it’s possible to admit you need a change, but not know how to make that change or even what changes to make.  Anyone can admit they are living paycheck to paycheck – most Americans are – but the question is how do you stop that cycle?  As they say, “the answer is out there.”

The Honorable Sterling Johnson, Jr. is a Federal District Court Judge.  He is in his mid-80s and is revered among federal judges, lawyers, G-men, and politicians.  Yet, he claims that he is still learning.  “I’m still learning every day,” he says.  “The day you stop learning is the day you become a fool.”  Anyone that knows him has heard him say, “a fool among wise men is but a wise man among fools.”

Judge Johnson is willing to learn from anyone, no matter how insignificant or important they might seem to others.  He flies through books on everything from history to finance, from crime, poverty, and inequality to race relations, politics, and Christianity.  He reads every major New York newspaper, every day.  He even watches news channels that promote a worldview different than his own and gives genuine consideration to opposing views.

But what makes Judge Johnson so brilliant isn’t the vast amount of information he digests; it’s his willingness to change his opinion in the face of new information.  See, the point in taking in all that information is to test it against his own wisdom and beliefs to see if what he thought he knew holds up.

I have met some incredibly successful and powerful people over the last few years.  Some of them offered great advice; others tried to discourage me.  Together, they taught me this:

If I listen and learn nothing, I haven’t lost anything.  But if I don’t listen, I could miss something life changing.

That is at the heart of the Judge Johnson’s wisdom.  You don’t have to obey everyone you hear but hear them out.  Your ability to learn is limited by your ability to listen.  And you will need to learn specific skills about ways to better manage your money, how to sacrifice in a way that helps you reach your goals, how to exercise self-control in your areas of weakness and how to make yourself the “fool” among wise men.  By the way, the “fool” is the only one smart enough to stay around people that know more than him and is therefore the only one that can learn something new.

This theory is a hard sell in or community.  We take pride in the fact that everything we have, we got on our own.  Our parents left us nothing.  There was no house in the will.  No college fund.  Our neighborhoods were warzones.  Yet, against all odds, we survive.

I get it.  To admit that now we need someone else’s help or advice to get to the next level is kinda unthinkable.  But it is that sort of pride that prevents us from reaching our goals and building our communities.  Far too often we ignore all advice for fear that if we change our minds or change our behaviors, we are somehow conceding defeat.

And therein lies my final point about humility:

Humility looks like weakness to fools.  When you decide to humble yourself, the world doesn’t stop being ignorant.  They will laugh at your attempts to do better for yourself.  They will mock you for thinking you know a better way.  They will clown you for starting over.  It will hurt.

When I began getting my life together, a friend got me a job as a deli clerk.  It was the first legal job I had in years.  But my co-workers were in high school.  When people I knew would come in the store, the looks of pity (or disgust) on their faces when they saw me behind that counter cut deep.  They were driving nice cars, dressed like rap stars and video vixens; I was slicing bologna and cheese.  Some laughed aloud in my face.  Others just shook their heads and walked away as they called friends.

“Girl, guess who I saw working at the supermarket?”

You may have to deal with riding a bike to a minimum wage job until you get enough money to clear your driver’s license.  You may have to give up cable until you save that mortgage down payment.  You may have to miss Summer Jam this year so that you can pay for that civil service exam.  But if you humble yourself and endure the near-guaranteed ridicule that will come along with you keeping your head down, you will be off the treadmill faster than you think.

Now, when I see those people who used to look down on me, they hug me and tell me we need to link up.  I just say, “praise God,” because what I really want to say is more colorful.

I want to encourage you, never think you have all the answers. Never be afraid to test your beliefs.  (Church folk hate when I talk like this).

Next step: Sacrifice.  Until then, keep researching that dream career.  Stay humble.  And keep praying.  Now, let’s break bread and eat.

Written by Ivory L. Bishop, Jr. Esq.